A Prologue on Fatherhood
Less than 24 hours ago, my life permanently shifted. As I look down at this little creature sleeping softly in my arms, a myriad of emotions and thoughts run through me, including the occasional small heart attack when he moves, potentially signaling a wake-up and a new cry.
Fatherhood is something I always looked forward to, but never considered mandatory in my life. I never felt there was a need for offspring to give meaning to a person’s existence. I know many find the meaning of their lives in their children, and I can understand why. But to me, children are not an extension of their parents’ lives. They are independent beings, with their own dreams and goals that may or may not align with what their family wants for them. And that’s okay. Regardless of how they behave or what they choose for themselves, nothing they can do stops them from being your children.
And yet, while nothing can break such a bond, as Khalil Gibran frames it, children are not possessions. They may come from their parents, but they belong to the world, to life itself. I agree with that vision. Still, they do shape much of the meaning of family.
Family, to me, is not about blood or names. Family is about those who love and support you unconditionally, in a selfless way. Those who have your back whenever you need them, and I don’t mean materially. Those who teach you, who train you to stand against adversity and face your obstacles. Those who give you their hand and remind you that failure isn’t the end. That you can stand up and try again. That no matter how hard the obstacle, you can overcome it if you persevere. Those who still show you warmth, support, and pride, regardless of success or failure. Those who respect you for who you are, and still try to guide you with their wisdom, even when you may resist it. Those who will help you fight your battles, without questions or demands.
To me, fatherhood is rooted in that concept of family. There is no greater mission in it than caring, supporting, protecting, and preparing your child for the challenges life will throw at them. It is a mission I am proud to accept, and one I will put my full spirit into, just as others once did for me. Children may belong to the world, but it is my utmost responsibility to give mine the tools and weapons to face it head-on.
And there is so much I want to teach and share with this young soul.
To be brave in the face of adversity. The importance of loyalty, of standing up for those you care about. The value of friendship. The love of nature, animals, and the environment. To cultivate a healthy mind and body. To know how and when to fight. That strength does not mean cruelty. That kindness is not weakness. To see beyond what your eyes tell you. To respect other living beings, especially those whose lives depend on you. And that life itself will be your greatest, and most unforgiving, teacher. Perspectives will change, but it is important to never lose your true self, no matter what.
And of course, there is so much I would love to share and try together. The passion for cinema, music, literature. The fun in games, racing, hiking, football, surfing. But it’s not about forcing activities onto a child. It’s about discovering whether we share common interests that we can explore and develop together. And if not, no problem. I will happily support whatever makes his heart race.
To you, my son: I hope you carry the strengths and hopes of your ancestors. But more importantly, that you pursue your own dreams and goals. That you live a life worth living, free from fear, dogma, and constraint. That you truly experience the miracle and privilege of being alive, and learn to appreciate the beauty in this world.
But above all, I hope I can help you become an independent and strong individual, armed with reason, justice, and temperance, ready to face the unknown with confidence. And wherever you may end up, I hope you are proud of the path you walked to get there.
Sleep tight, little one. There’s a whole new world out there to explore, and a new journey about to begin.